Only fools don’t change their minds.
As Deef put it quite rightly, why not publish here the newsletter I had planned to send ? I managed to get away with an evasive and unsatisfactory answer. And my basket of readers desperately empty. Let’s face it, it was a huge success… a hammering, rather.
But as time passed by, I realized that I missed writing. Having written a blog for three years left marks. All the more when it reached 30 000 pages viewed. When the reader is waiting for you behind the bush with his gun loaded with comments. A drug from which it is almost impossible to withdraw. Even when one disappears. Yes, I will come out. One thing at a time. I am now thinking of reappearing. Step by step. For I will need to earn a living (or rather, pay my debts).
Since I have my ticket for Paris, I might as well use it.
I almost kept no password, no document whatsoever. Besides my passport, some dreams to fulfill, and more practically, the access code of my bank account which desperately shows – 1300€ not including the outstanding payments, a dozen for now (twelve times 10€ of rejected payment fees = 120€) ; to the overdraft of 1300€, let’s add the 3000€ of outstanding payments to which we’ll add approximately 1500€ for May, then 1500€ for June and so on.
There’s a price to pay in disappearing. Especially when one doesn’t earn a living anymore.
To go to the end of the world is my retreat. Now that I am by myself, I can face my demons. I’m living on pasta, butter and thought. And I have decided to reappear, to take up my responsibilities, find a job, pay my debts, start anew.
What city will I choose?
Where one is willing to accommodate me.
Today, I’ve had an ostrich steak for lunch. Hmm, not good.
“Shut up and eat ! You shouldn’t bite the gardian-angel friend’s hand that filled your refrigerator !”
Well… I’ve been hanging around in this coffee shop for too long ; enough equivocating… I will go and see the ocean, breathe the open air.